You have met them at some point in your life. We all have. You have met a person that being in the same room with them sets your teeth on edge. The first word that passes their lips or even their demeanor has your number. It is someone who you try desperately to like, but it is hard. In life there is always going to be ones with who we struggle to get along. Does that mean we stop trying? Certainly not. So where do we go from there? During these times, I find myself in the need of reflection and praying. Most times I will come to a couple of conclusions.
“Is the reason I struggle to get along something they have done to me or someone I care about?” If the answer is yes, the thought process follows. “Why am I holding on to this anger or hurt or frustration?” Often the reason is “I have to look after me and mine!” “They hurt me so I will hurt them by being angry with them, or finding a way to zing them back so they will feel bad about what they have done.” So if our thoughts take us to this place, unforgiveness is reigning in our heart. Our unforgiveness is coming between us and another person. The disciples were struggling with this too. In Matthew 18:21-22 we read, “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” I know the next step in the process. “You have no idea what they have done to me.” You would be correct in that, I don’t know. In these verses Jesus did not give a stipulation on the circumstances. He said to just keep forgiving. Is this an easy task? No way. IT IS A HARD THING, BUT IT IS A NECESSARY THING. It involves getting out of our own way and being willing to give up our right to be offended. Pride often will well up in us and we can’t let go. Pride can be quick sand on the road to forgiveness. It can bog us down and hinder us from doing what we ought to do. I can often bog us down for months, even years. We want to be free of our hurt. The only way to turn it over to God is through the avenue of forgiveness. This person may have hurt you over and over. We can’t be waiting for offense #491 then put the hammer down on them. The principle is to keep forgiving over and over. I have been in such a place so I am not speaking of something that has not been a hard, learned lesson. I know this is a tough subject, but it has been on my heart. When I see others struggling to forgive, I know if the freedom that is waiting on those who are willing to surrender their will to Father God in the area of forgiveness.
The other conclusion I come to when struggling to get along with others is “If they have not done anything to me, what is my hold up? Am I failing to love them as God loves them?” “Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.” (1 John 4:11) God tells us to love as He does. When God’s love is flowing through me it is extended to others. Only my unwillingness can stop that flow of love. In both of these conclusions, the power to get along with others begins and ends with us. You may find at some point you try to follow these things and the other person does not want to be right with you. It happens. You can’t control what others feel about you. But you can continue to forgive and you can continue to love because it is what God requires of you. When you know you have done your best and Christ is pleased with your effort there is a freedom and a peace that is beyond understanding. Then you can let them go continuing to pray for them and reconciliation to come one day.
The walk of faith was never said to be an easy one filled with only sunshine and roses. There are trials and testing to endure. We can be confident in knowing that we have a God who walks with us in the way and will help us through the hard times. We may struggle along the way to get along with others. Let God help you determine your part in the process of what you need to do to be right with Him.