I wish I had the gift of mastering one area of difficulty in my life, and then smoothly moving on to the next area that needs work without having to go back to said area again. The problem is that I do go back. You may call it the essence of my humanity, or you may call it a character flaw. I call it crazy. I try so hard to do everything I need to do every day. I have to do lists in my head, and most days I struggle with balancing what I know I need to do with what I want to do. Maybe by chance, I am not alone in this. The struggle to accomplish the base things on most days overwhelms me. Then I try to throw the areas that I need to change within the inner me on top of all this, I come close to losing my mind. As I was pondering all these crazy mixed up thoughts, I am reminded of Paul, and in Romans 7 penned these words:
|18||For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.|
|19||For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.|
I know I’m not the only one who has conflicting emotions, and these thoughts on the human condition. I want so desperately to do what is right, but the struggle is great. I know that I am not perfect, but often that is my ideal when it should be the farthest thing from my mind. I feel I am constantly performing like a tightrope walker.
Several years ago, I had the opportunity to go to the circus, and see the tightrope walkers in action. It was amazing to me the balance that they were able to keep as they moved back and forth so high above the ground. I read later that the reason they are able to keep their balance is extreme concentration, and keeping their eye on a fixed point on the platform. They would begin with a rope just a couple of feet off the ground. The more experience they gained the higher the rope was moved up. The one point on the platform never changed. The jumps and even through the flips they preformed they did not waver in their focus. These arielists have the gift of balance. One thing I noticed is they did not panic when they appeared to be leaning over to far. They readjusted their focus, and remained calm. When I find I am struggling to keep balance, more often than not I have shifted my focus away from my focal point, Jesus Christ. The crowd may distract me, or I look at the location of my feet instead of at my focal point with my feet firmly planted on the rope. I need that daily steadying of the Holy Spirit, and the calming presence He provides. When I feel I am leaning to far over, I need to keep my focus on my Lord and His Word, remain calm, and let God give my feet a secure place to land.
Though the world may be watching us (and they are watching). We need to remember that we are performing for an audience of one, the Lord. Don’t feel the pressure to perform everything perfectly. Let us rely on God alone for our balance in a shaky world. Pleasing the Lord and solely focusing on Him should be our only concern.
Blessings to you!